It has been more than one year I bear this jobless status. I took the test to be a civil servant in three ministries this year, but none I could pass. Classic reason: too many participants, too few formations, too high passing grade. Duh! But it's like I triplicated three years exams within one year. I mean, so many people could only participate into one exam in one year. And I think this first entrance exam to be PNS of mine is the best compared to the ones of previous several years. I can check the people's scores who passed the test via online, so although there is still any possibility of bribery activity, at least I could see with my own eyes that those peoples' scores could prove me they deserved the passing.
Just flashback to the first exam I took in Foreign Ministry which took place in Jakarta. That's the first time for me to go there. As a suburban girl, I was amazed how that city surrounded by so many very tall buildings beautifully, the malls which I never see before, Jakarta's well known traffic jam, and of course the socialites' life style which kinda lowered my self-esteem. hee. I imagined how if I passed the test and moved to stay there. Undergoing the 7 months training at the education center of Foreign Ministry, before being inducted into legitimate civil servant. But maybe I have no any destiny to work in there. hahhh.
Continued to the second and the last exam which I took in The Ministry of Fishery and Marine and The Transportation Ministry. I changed my imagination from working in Jakarta to working in Belawan, in a port area where I will see the activities of the massive good transporting ships from domestic and foreign. Will play in the beach in the afternoon and it means no worry about crabs and prawns starving. And watching the fishermen go to and return from the sea, separating the fish from the net, are something I always experience happily.
But one week before the official announcement of the exam result, Noni texted me that there was an offer to work as a teacher in a school which is under the auspices of the biggest company of food products producer in this country, which has its branch in Balam, a sub-district (maybe) in Riau. (I don't know if there is other food products producer which is bigger than that one). Very seductive! The salary is higher than being civil servant in basic level for a strata one.
So Noni asked me to go to Balam to give a visit back to her friend who ever visited her with his family, and ushered my files at once. We took the night bus, left at 10 pm and arrived there at 6 in the morning. Got off the bus, I still felt 'normal'. But when Noni's friend and his brother came to picked us up, I started to know what a place I would stay in.
It's an oil palm plantation, a huge one I mean, where it took 20 minutes to reach their home. (And if it has been fixed, I will live in there too). 20 minutes from the highway by riding a motorbike with high speed, according to me is far! And when I saw the environment, a place where it looked like there's no life! Too quiet! I'm shocked. Immediately I thought, for what sake I earn much money if I had to live in this place? But I tried my best to control my feeling because we were being guest in a house where there are 9 family members, so I had to give my best smile.
In the first night, I felt worry about the possibility I will move into there. But in the second night, when I watched a movie which some of its conversations told: we will not know if something is good for us or not, before we go through it. I start to think do not be only because of the momentary feeling, I lost a big chance which so many people do not need to think even once to grab.
We stayed there for 2 nights and when went home, I told my parents that there was a big possibility I would be accepted. But I cried and explained how the place was. No network coverage for hi-tech cell phones. Water came once in 2 days and the electricity was only active between 6 am to 11 pm. I also said that I saw people brought big jerrycan contained water with their motorbikes which I was sure for drink. I nagged how can I do that? I also did not see any market so how will I buy my food needs?
My father calmed me down and told me to make a decision which I myself was being the main reason; it's not a decision which I took parents as the reason. Then I said that I will try first before shouting I give up. But you need to know what I feel, I said. My mother started to cry and told me that before I expressed my feeling, as a couple with my father who started their life from zero in a plantation too, she had known how the place I will live in was like, and was worry whether I could live in a place like that.
So I ensured my parents, I will try!!
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